Men have a serious relationship with cars and driving. Sometimes, too serious. So, here’s our take on the seven stages that you will likely encounter as you progress through your life.
The Youngster
Driving with Dad is a memory etched into the minds of many. It’s the first chance to get your hands on the wheel, and if you were lucky, you could even have a go on the gear stick. These days, kids have a lot more opportunity – take a look at one of these days out at the track for a good example. The lucky so-and-sos…
The Learner
Just when you think you are becoming a man, you have to learn to drive. Those L plates are a real kick in the teeth when you have an image to keep up in the rough and tough streets of Surrey, I can tell you. Learn fast, young man. The quicker you do it, the quicker you will find freedom. Organize some lessons and think about booking a theory test online. All youths need a kick up the backside to get anything done. Having that date set will mean you don’t skip lessons.
The First Car
Ah, the romance of the first car. It’s just you on the open road, with a lifetime of opportunity ahead of you. The sun is out, the windows are down, and you have the tunes on full blast. Memories are on the way, you can feel it. Great things will happen. You are free, happy, and unstoppable. Until you hit a tree and write it off after only a week.
The Single Earner
You have a nice job and money to burn. You could go for a sports car, but you are thinking of something more sophisticated to match your growing social status. So, you plump for an executive model. You get tetchy about having passengers, and clean excessively when they get out. You consider new alloys. You tailgate people in slower cars. You probably work in sales.
Family
And then this happens. Just when you thought you could afford to get that McLaren F1, you go and spoil it all by having kids. Your sleek, three-door convertible with the expensive tyres gets traded in for a Volvo with a roof rack. You won’t know it at the time, but this is a look that you will be sporting for at least a decade and half. Get used to it, daddy-o.
Mid Life Crisis
You get your ear pierced. You start showing an interest in your teenage kid’s music, much to their disgust. They disown you when you show up at their favourite nightclub with a tie wrapped around your head and an air guitar strapped on your shoulders. You get depressed. You think spending £100K on a Porsche 911 Carrera will solve all your problems. It doesn’t. Everyone laughs.
Gentleman Driver
Congratulations, you have made it! You have reached the pinnacle of car driving. You can drive perfectly and haven’t had a crash for at least 15 years. Sure, you are a bit slower on the road, but safety first is your motto. And that Jaguar looks appealing all of a sudden.
Your Sundays will never be the same again…